Testimony of Fabienne: I Was in Hell – My Illumination of Conscience

The peace of Jesus be with you! Beloved brothers and sisters, I come to witness today that Christ brought me back to life!

My parents had me baptised a few days after my birth. I followed all the catechism classes and I made my First Communion. My mother, a holy woman, taught me to pray every night. However, after my First Communion, I no longer attended the Catholic Church until 1996, when Jesus came to save me. I was 32 years old.

I will tell you a bit about the life that I led all those years, far from Jesus.

Searching for Love

As soon as I turned 15, my life took a reversal. I began to smoke, frequented filthy bars, participated in card readings, practiced numerology, and wrote to astrologers. When I finished my studies in school, I spent all the weekends in discoteques, smoking hashish and drinking alcohol. I wore mini-skirts and designer clothes. Without guilty feelings, I frolicked with the men I met. I was searching for Love with a capital L.

Satan kept me bound and prevented me from turning towards the love of Christ. He blinded me with what men could give me: pleasure of the flesh, money, wellbeing, and the world. I was under his hellish bindings. I needed somebody to take much care of me. I was suicidal and self-destructive after having sustained much wickedness in my youth, and Satan, in his cruelty, poisoned my painful wounds.

It was during an evening in a nightclub that I met a man and, at the end of a few months, we decided to live common law. I did not know that if I had sexual relations while I was not married in the Church that my soul was uniting with impure spirits. At the end of 5 years, I left him and I moved to another city.

There, I made the acquaintance of an astrologer and a Rosicrucian of AMORC, the Ancient Mystical Order Rosae Crucis.

The “Light” of Satan

The astrologer proposed that I have my karmic astrological theme done, and I accepted! She explained to me that this consisted of studying my astrological theme based on my previous lives, and studying my karma. Sometime later, I went to a spirit center to listen to the teachings of a guru whom I had found in a book that I studied, titled The Gospel According to Spiritism by Allan Kardec.

This guru proposed that we should participate, on Wednesday evenings, in live seances of spiritism. Due to my innocence, I accepted. And there, I began to see mediums who entered trances, and who supposedly received messages from the Cure of Ars, Saint Theresa of the Child Jesus, the Mother of God, and even sometimes the Lord Jesus Christ or extra terrestrials! Had I known that these were fallen spirits that delivered these messages, I would have left this spirit center right away.

One Wednesday evening, the guru proposed to have a great cleansing of my soul! I suffered greatly in my interior, but at that moment, I did not know that it consisted of my accumulated sins that were oppressing me. Because I believed in reincarnation, I thought that this interior suffering was due to the karma that I had accumulated in my so-called previous lives. Believing that the guru had the power to free me of my previous lives, I accepted his proposal and sat next to him.

He was serving the demon, and by accepting to give myself to his power, I allowed the demon to take possession of me. The evil spirits had penetrated me because of my errant ways: card reading, pendulum, astrology, horoscope, palm reading, initiation to yoga, adoration of Buddha, esoteric meditation, opening to chakras, chi gong, and many other practices. The guru laid his hands on two of my chakras, the chakra of the heart and the chakra of the third eye, and channelled the powers he had acquired from the demon. Then he told me that he had transmitted light to me. But unfortunately, it was the light of God’s enemy.

The Demons Entered Me

I went home and began to feel ill. At the next spirit seance, I lived through a very difficult experience – the kundalini arose!

The kundalini is a powerful energy lodged in the sacrum bone at the base of the back. When it is aroused, it climbs along the spine and works its way from one chakra center to another, right up to the coronary chakra located above the head. During this experience, I had the impression that I was raptured to heaven such was the power of this energy.

What I had not understood at that moment was that by the practicing of yoga and of the kundalini, I gave power to Satan to enter into me and lead me from my interior. I did not know that the practice of yoga could open the door of my soul to evil spiritual entities. Yoga is not a simple practice. It belongs to a complex religion from which it is hard to separate oneself. It made me adore divinities that had spiritual functions. I learned from a priest who is knowledgeable on these questions that yoga is a Hindu practice that unites the temporal me, “Jiva”, to “Brahman”, the infinite – the Hindu concept of God.

An Impersonal God

This god is presented as an impersonal spiritual substance. It is not Jesus Christ, the personal God of Revelation. By invoking strange deities that do not exist, I risked entering into contact with demons and submitting myself to them. I then realised that by practicing yoga, I was adoring a god other than the Holy Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Consequently, I was breaking God’s first commandment: “You shall not have gods other than Me.” Feeling more and more sick, I decided to abandon these techniques. But since I had opened myself to the chakras, I was between life and death for many long months.

Since my thirst for knowledge had still not being quenched, I joined the Rosicrusians AMORC, and I quickly began to receive small booklets for study. In this Order I studied the psychic body of man, stellar travelling, human aura, chakras, vocal sounds, mantras… Throughout these studies, I sought to know and understand the god of my heart that we called “The Cosmic One.” But I understood nothing of this false god and its energies.

And what kind of love relationship did I have with that god? None! There was no loving, heart-to- heart relationship as I can now live out with the Jesus of love in the Eucharist.

New Age Practices

In my research into these New Age practices that do not come from God, I practiced magnetism, telepathy, pendulum, all kinds of magic, hypnosis, New Age breathing, aura reading, all forms of healing through energies, crystals, music and colors, meditations on New Age music and reiki – all practices which the bishops of the USA had warned against. In my body, I experienced that Satan had placed his energy within me with his power, and I began to tremble.

Around this time, I met a man in the Rosicrucian Order who had been alone for many years because his wife had left him for another man. A few months later, we decided to get a civil marriage. We could not get married in the Catholic Church because he had previously received the Sacrament of Marriage.

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